Growing up I thought being in love was red roses, dates on Saturday nights, pretty jewelry, Friday night movie premiers, kisses in the rain, and boxes that held expensive things. I thought true love was a story with a picture perfect ending. Now that I’m older I’ve realized it’s not that at all. True love isn’t something you find in a Disney movie. Being in love is screaming at 5 AM till you cry out of anger, but knowing they won’t leave. It’s saving each other’s selfies, good or bad, just to look at them because you miss each other. It’s being comfortable enough to talk about anything. It’s saying all the wrong things at the wrong moments. It’s leaving someone in complete control of your heart, but trusting them not to break you. It’s screaming the lyrics to your favorite songs together. It’s honesty even when it hurts and sarcasm when they’re sad. It’s lame jokes and sleepless nights. It’s fights and make up sex. It’s hour long showers and breakfast in the morning. It’s all night phone calls instead of texting. It’s the small things. It’s coffee shop dates and finding new books to read. It’s holding hands and kissing ever so passionately. It’s being able to sit at home just basking in the presence of someone you love with every fiber of your being. It’s wanting to share every moment with that one person. It’s finding yourself awake at 3 AM craving them asleep next to you. It’s little nick names and making fun of each other. It’s being called things like ‘little shit’ or ‘baby’ or ‘love of my life.’ It’s being able to fall asleep knowing that person will still be there in the morning. It’s being apart and knowing nothing will change. It’s deep talks at 6 AM. It’s days full of laughter and tears. It’s capturing the world’s beauty though their eyes. It’s not about the sex or the gifts, it’s about finding someone who pours their love into your deepest cracks making you whole once again. It’s feeling part of you missing when you’re apart. It’s finally being able to love yourself even half as much as that person loves you. Love is the only thing left in the world worth fighting for. Don’t you dare settle for a boy who makes you feel good for a night, or a girl who boosts your ego at a party. Mindfucking love is the holy grail of all love. Being in love will fuck you up in more ways than you can imagine and it’s absolutely fucking heart-wrenching, but at the same time it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.
Yes, I am a crazy. And yes, I know im not perfect.
Yes, I know Nicole and I have had some great times, amazing times, beautiful moments together, and yes, I know we have been thru hell and back, stared into each others eyes as our heart has broken, feeling betrayed, hurt, and angry.
Yes, I know that the world is against me, that everyone and everything says I dont deserve her, that we are stupid kids with stupid ideas, and even stupider dreams.
But no, you dont know her like I do, youvr never seen the way she smiles, the way her hand fits perfectly in mine, and that her lips were made for kissing me.
No, you dont know what we have been through, what we have done, or the moments we have shared. You weren’t there for all those late night talks, and early morning drives to the ocean.
No, you werent there when she told me she loved me, said that she cared for me, and trusted me with everything, her fears, her dreams. You weren’t there when she opened up her world to me.
So right now Im lost. and I dont know where to go. I feel like im living half a life
Im confused, angry, upset, just fucking fuck. I can’t put how I feel into words. The same way how I dont give a shit about what anybody thinks, whether they think im right or wrong, whether I should give up or keep going. All I care about is what she thinks, all I care about is her. She really is the light that guides me home
Fuck. I miss her. This sucks.
Nicole if you see this, just know that im sorry, and although im upset at the way things have turned out, I still want this more than everything and that I love you more than the world.
I just watched this video on Vimeo. Way of looking at food production and consumption.
I am not sure i want to eat meat anymore
Nobody knows her like I do.
The little things that make her, her.
And at the same time, nobody knows me like she does.
So when they tell me that its over, to move on, that she doesn’t love me..
I get angry, I get upset. I feel all these emotions at once, and it sometimes gets too much
I know I’m not perfect, and she isnt either, but shes perfect for me. And im going to keep fighting for her, because this is what I want. To be there with her, and for her. There is no one else, for me anyway. The heart wants what it wants.
Just cos I have a tonne of uni work to doHello fellow nerds!
A new school year is approaching, and since I have to nail my A* this year I put together a masterpost with helpful links and tips that I have gathered throughout my school years. Good luck this year: you´ll do just fine!1. Learn ´em languages2. Do your research3. Learn how to write like a God
- 10 practical tips for writing better exam essays.
- Writing an essay.
- Harvard writing resources.
- Writing application essays.
- Writing a personal statement.
- Genre characteristics.
- Writing a literary analysis essay.
- Answering essay questions.
- Get feedback.
- Bibliography maker.
- What is the word you´re looking for?4. Oh yes sweet reading5. Get your studying and organization game on6. Stress and anxiety management because school is stressful7. Go get ´em tests8. Classroom participation - because teachers love that shit9. Software and pages for us nerdy kids10. Yo! Take some time to care ´bout yo´self